1,445 words of content including eight ways to improve your Emotional Intelligence and links to Free Stuff and summer reading! Approximate reading time required: 5.78 minutes. And isn't your Happiness worth it?

Welcome to my e-newsletter, which focuses on defining and applying the Principles of Happiness and Positive Emotion in your life and work.

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1. Strengthen Your Emotional Muscles
2. Work Your Brain with Summer Reading
3. Get Free Stuff!
4. Lessons from Italy, Part 1
5. About the Coach

Note: Much of the work that I do, both with individuals and teams, is based in the emotional world. Employee Engagement - a common goal in today's workplace - is as much about emotions as is my work around Happiness. So this month's feature article will do double duty as the "In The Workplace" segment for leaders.

A few weeks ago I responded to a client request for a few skill-building exercises in the emotional realm. Since this client is familiar with Emotional Intelligence (EI), I placed the ideas within the four quadrants of EI (see below). Since then, I seem to have run into EI references and requests everywhere, so I finally took a hint from The Universe and am sharing with my readers!

EI is defined as the ability to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. EI is distinct from IQ (Intelligence Quotient), the common measure of intelligence used in the United States to define one's cognitive, or thinking skills. Without too much "teaching," I offer two relevant points comparing these two human intelligences:

1. While IQ is unchangeable (what you're born with is what you've got), EI can be learned and strengthened throughout your life.
2. All things being equal, those who have higher EI are more successful than someone of equal IQ but lower EI. In fact, decades of study have shown that two-thirds (67%) of the competencies that define success in organizations are emotional competencies, especially for those whose jobs involve influence or leadership.

Bottom line: higher Emotional Intelligence will help you be more successful no matter what your IQ, and the best news is that you can LEARN TO BE EMOTIONALLY SMARTER!

Once you're aware that you have the power to manage your own emotional state, how might you get better at it? Practice, of course! The more you "work" your emotional muscles, the stronger you'll become. I offer the following simple exercises, each focused on strengthening a different dimension of Emotional Intelligence.

SELF AWARENESS (what am I feeling?)

• First, Notice Your Emotions: For 2-3 weeks, diary your emotions. After every interaction (at home or work), take 1 minute to name the top 1 or 2 emotions you felt during that interaction. Over time, you will notice patterns - which emotions you spend more time in, trigger situations, etc. Awareness is crucial to deepening your emotional intelligence.

SELF-MANAGEMENT

• Practice centering. Stand tall, breathe deeply into your belly, and connect to the ground (both feet). Being able to return to this Calm/Confident body from any other emotion will give you a valuable tool for managing yourself and your conversations with others.
• Practice Deliberate Emotions: Identify one or two emotions OTHER than calm/confidence that you would like to inhabit more often. What are the body and breath and story/assessment that go with that emotion, for you? Practice moving yourself into that intentional emotional space once or twice each day. For example, if you want to demonstrate more Assertiveness or Optimism, emulate someone else who does it well, and try that on regularly.

EMPATHY/Social Awareness

• Strengthen Awareness of Others' Emotions: While sitting in meetings, act as observer of each of the other players or at least the key players. Without any assessment as to right/wrong or good/bad, see if you can identify - from language, body language, tone, other visible physical signs - what mood or emotional space that person is in. Do this several times during a meeting, noticing changes. This will strengthen your ability to "read" others.
• Group Awareness: Same exercise, except apply to the overall GROUP mood/emotion. Which person(s) appear to be the stronger influences on that group mood? (P.S. we often do this without realizing we are doing it. The focus here is on picking up the "mood of the room" with intention.)
• Confirm Your Observation: In conversation with others, try to identify/name the mood you are feeling from them. Check your assessment by asking, "You seem ______. Am I reading you correctly, in this moment?" (Refines your emotional radar.)

SOCIAL SKILLS (Managing/Influencing Others)

• Mirroring/Drawing: When in conversations with others, selectively try one of the following:
  
  A) Purposefully mirror the mood/emotion of the other, thru standard mirroring techniques, e.g. matching body posture, energy, speed of speech, etc. Notice what effect that has on the conversation, when you Match their emotion.
  B) Do the opposite of A - purposefully choose a DIFFERENT space (e.g. calm), and shift into that in your speech, energy, non-verbal language, tone, etc. Hold that space with intention. Notice what effect it has on the conversation when you Draw the other into your emotional space.
  
  (This pairing is a training exercise/practice for negotiation, e.g. sales conversations, any situations where you seek to influence someone else - a frequent focus for leaders - or where you are striving to hone your facilitation skills, which include being able to shift the emotional space when appropriate.)

P.S. All of the above works on your Kids or Partner as well as your coworkers!

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who understands and manages their own emotional space, and who can positively influence others, whether at home, work, or play.

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Yes, it's time for my TWELFTH ANNUAL Summer Reading List (SRL). This year's list includes a "BEST OF THE PAST DECADE" section, along with a few new items for your beach bag.

Visit my website, and click on Free Stuff, Reading Lists. Enjoy!

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After many months of writing and editing (and procrastinating!), I have FINALLY completed my new website. This is the first complete overhaul of my site in ten years, and I'm pretty excited about it.

The new site is enabled for viewing on Mobile units (smart phones, iPads, etc) and Apple/Mac users can now visit the site without error codes.

Plus, it's loaded with tons of new information on our services, and ample supplies of Free Stuff, including Articles you can use in your company newsletters, Assessments for your personal development, Reading Lists, Happiness resources, and Archives.

If you've got a few minutes, please explore and let me know what you think. (P.S. If you notice any errors or missing links on the site, drop me a note so we can correct 'em.)

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We had a wonderful time in Italy, yet it was such a full-contact sensory experience that I am still absorbing it all. We returned with over 1500 digital photos, and each one reminds me of a specific day, place, weather, and emotional space.

Spending time in another culture heightened my awareness of, well, EVERYTHING; from the mundane, like shopping for food, to the extraordinary, like standing inside of the mammoth basilica at Siena, and realizing that it took over 250 years to complete - that's longer than the United States has even existed!

I still hold a sense of wonder for much of what I experienced, so I promise you'll be hearing more about the trip. For now, here are my three most powerful Lessons from Italy:

• You can be hopelessly lost and still have a good time. We circled parts of Umbria and Florence for hours, unable to make sense of the serpentine, one-way roads...and we had a blast! Just like in real life, the pleasure's as much in the journey as the destination.
• Pictures do NOT do justice to the Real Thing. As a former Latin scholar, I've studied Rome's Coliseum and Forum to the point of memorization; yet nothing prepared me for the sheer ENORMITY of them. Majestic, Magnificent, or Regal are tiny little words that cannot capture the feeling of pure AWE I felt standing next to structures of superhuman scale built nearly 2,500 years ago!
• Language skills are completely unnecessary if you carry a cute baby. While my son-in-law and I spent three months building core vocabulary, my wife and daughter studied nothing. Yet they created some of our greatest moments of interaction (and more than a few special favors!) by entering difficult conversations carrying an adorable eight-month old.

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Hi, I'm Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®. I work with smart, successful people like you, who secretly struggle with overwhelm and fear that you won't have what it takes to succeed at the next level. I help you expand awareness of your strengths and limits, explore new paths to effectiveness, then support you as you build powerful new behaviors that transform how you "show up" in your life and work. You will achieve more clarity, build broader leadership skills, and expand your capacity to LEAD your life on a MUCH bigger stage!

I have helped thousands of leaders and business owners just like you to increase effectiveness at work AND live a happier, more balanced life. I invite you to contact me for a free Leadership Strategy Session to learn how you can create a less-stress leadership presence.

Reach me directly: Jim@TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com or +1-440-885-3247.

All things Happiness Coach:

Blog: www.LifeWithHappiness.com. Ask me a question on LinkedIn, Friend me on Facebook, or Follow me on Twitter.

                

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Copyright © 2011, All Rights Reserved. Reproduction for publication is encouraged, with the following attribution: "From HAPPINESS@THESPEEDOFLIFE, by Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®, 440-885-3247 or www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com. Join the Happiness Conversation at www.LifeWithHappiness.com." If you choose to do otherwise, I will be very unhappy.

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