1,647 words of content including two important distinctions and six Tips to Lead Your Life. Approximate reading time required: 6.58 minutes. And isn't your Happiness worth it?

Welcome to my e-newsletter, which focuses on defining and applying the Principles of Happiness and Positive Emotion in your life and work.

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1. Stop Managing, Start Leading Your Life
2. In The Workplace: Leaders Sustain
3. Personal: Advice for the Trip
4. Commerce Division: Lead Your Life
5. Summer Reading: "Must Reads?"
6. About the Coach

For the past 13 years, in my writing and my speaking, I've been quite deliberate in my use of the word, Leadership. Only recently have I realized the degree to which I assumed that everyone who reads or hears my message understands exactly what I mean by that word. Not!

Most people, I've learned, think the terms Manager and Leader are interchangeable. I use these words to define two different roles we must play to be successful, at work and in life. Both are important, yet in different ways - and the most successful among us strive to achieve a balance between the two.

This chart shows a sampling of the distinctions I make between the two mindsets:

We live in a culture that obsesses over control of outcomes, predictability, and immediate gratification (short-term results), which is really a Manager mindset. It's important to get results, it's important to have rules and predictability. Yet if we spend all of our time there, our world is reduced to the pursuit of Perfection (impossible) and the belief that we are always supposed to be "in control" (an illusion) and have a Fix for every problem. Thus, we are constantly set up for disappointment.

We often agree, in general, that much of what we've been doing is no longer working, and we want things to change. But what we really mean when we say we want change is that we want for everyone else to change, and for us to get what we want without discomfort.

Managers, who are fabulous at maintaining the status quo, cannot take us into the future. Leaders are those who declare a future that is different from the past - and that takes courage and requires that we let go of the familiar to step into the unknown.

Yet in our culture, we often punish leaders, because they make us uncomfortable - even when we agree with them.

Your internal Manager (aka Habit) keeps your physical, emotional, and assessment systems running in the background, so you don't have to think about everything all the time. Your Manager also provides feedback on your "performance," and points out when others are creating problems for you. Most importantly, your Manager works hard to keep things predictable.

Your internal Leader challenges you to learn and evolve. Your Leader wants to have conversations about vision and values and a new future, and asks, "are you sure you're heading in the right direction?" Your Leader strives to build better connections with others; and most importantly, pushes you out of your comfort zone and reminds you when what you are doing is out of sync with what you say you want - if you choose to listen!

When you find yourself "stuck," it's often because you have stopped listening to your internal Leader.

To Lead Your Life, you must:

• Declare a different future. Create a new vision for your life. Reexamine your personal values and notice where your behavior does not align with what you SAY is important. Then take action to change.
• Take personal responsibility for You. Let go of (ever) blaming others for anything that happens. You are always half of every relationship, and when you choose to change, you can transform your outcomes.
• Reach out to others for support. Build a team around you (which can include a Coach, of course!) and leverage others to keep you moving in a new direction and hold you accountable to your promises.
• Risk, Fail, Learn, and Grow. Any behavior that's not working for you can be changed (even if your internal Manager resists). Try new approaches to how you walk, talk, sit, stand, think, and even how you breathe. You will feel uncomfortable and you will experience some failure. Adjust, then practice, practice, practice the new approach.
• Accept That Perfection is a Myth. Embrace that being effective for the long run is more important than being perfect.
• Go with the Flow/Let go of Control. Real Leaders accept that they can set a direction but cannot obsess over every detail. And learning to ride the wave is more realistic than trying to control it.

When you give more power to your internal Leader, you increase your capacity to enjoy life and adjust to what the world throws at you. You will spend less time in anxiety and fear and more time creating the possibility for Happiness, joy, and calm.

Most importantly, you will feel more confident and powerful in your own skin.

Management is a skill set, a set of learned tools that you can apply consistently in similar situations. Preserve your personal management skills, because they keep you on course.

Leadership is a journey, not a specific destination. While there is a broad set of skills and tools you can master to be a great leader, the truth is that, no matter where you are right now, there is another dimension of Leadership ahead of you. Keep learning, because the road ahead is sure to be bumpy and the better your adaptation skills, the happier you'll be!

The 13 Principles of Happiness can help you to Lead Your Life. Visit http://www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com/happiness/ philosophies.cfm to download a colorful 1-page PDF Poster. Post it on your workplace wall or your fridge at home, and try to live a principle each day!

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When the business blockbuster Good to Great was published in 2001, author Jim Collins introduced us to the distinction between "celebrity" leaders vs "Level 5" leaders. Both get the job done for their companies; they are very different in their How.

The results achieved by celebrity leaders often decline or disappear when they move on, because the primary tool they bring to problem-solving is the force of their personality. The Level 5 leader on the other hand, keeps the focus on building systems that can be sustained even when players change.

Another difference between the two is the way they respond to success and crisis. The celebrity looks in the mirror to give credit for success, and out the window to assign blame; the Level 5, in contrast, looks in the mirror to assign blame and looks out the window for someone to credit with success.

From my first reading of this book, I named the distinction "Manager vs Leader," and still see it that way today. The bottom line is that true leaders (the Level 5) step outside of themselves and the comfort of knowing, and into the DIScomfort of not knowing and taking care of others. There is nothing wrong with being a manager...but the BEST results come from those who model and nurture strong leadership in their organizations.

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who builds sustainable systems that best serve the organization, respects people, and shines the spotlight on others, first.

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Whenever I share that we are heading to Italy for a holiday, there's someone in the room who has already been there, so I ask, "what advice do you have for a first-timer?"

While some suggest places to visit (Don't miss the Vatican Museum! You must see the Coliseum in Rome! Assisi was one of my favorite places!), most feedback has concerned a general approach to our adventure. I really cherish these tips, since my primary goal is to experience the culture, even more than to "see the sites" (tho' we'll be doing plenty of that, as well). Here are my favorites:

• Never criticize the pasta. Italians invented it, they know how to do al dente better than anyone else; remember that real lasagna is thin; and it's not about the cheese. (I'm so excited about the gustatory delights that await us!)
• Slow down. Notice that Americans have a different relationship with time than do Europeans. Italians may drive molto veloce, but they know how to live lentamente (slowly). (Ahh, that will be nice to experience!)
• Ask the locals. Tourist publications are helpful, but the people who live there know best.
• Wear comfortable shoes. Everything is close enough to walk...and that is the best way to experience the culture.
• Eat gelato every day. This is my favorite piece of advice. And the best part, according to my advisors, is that all the walking will cancel out the daily gelato e vino!

I am looking forward to una grande vacanza con mia famiglia, cose boune da mangiare, e nessuna tecnologia!

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Does the idea of LEADING your own life hold appeal for you? Several of my coaching clients will complete their one-year coaching program in the next few weeks, so I have three openings for new clients starting in June/July.

If you'd like to explore coaching, I invite you to schedule a no-obligation Leadership Strategy Session in early June. In this one-hour coaching conversation (which will require some pre-work on your part) we will explore what is missing in your work/life right now, and where you'd like to go next. I'll spend a few minutes explaining my coaching program to you, of course, but whether you are ready for coaching or not, I promise you'll leave the conversation with a great deal more clarity about your current situation and several ideas to help you take your leadership to the next level!

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Good heavens, can you believe it's already time for my TWELFTH ANNUAL Summer Reading List (SRL)? Each year I solicit ideas for great new reads you've discovered over the past year. I'm looking for titles on COACHING, HAPPINESS, and LEADERSHIP as well as great NOVELS and frothy little BEACH BOOKS. The list will be shared via this newsletter and my Social Media sites on June 22.

Please share what made your MUST READ list this year! Visit my blog for information on how to submit your recommendations, or simply click here to send me an email NOW!

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Hi, I'm Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®. I work with smart, successful people like you, who secretly struggle with overwhelm and fear that you won't have what it takes to succeed at the next level. I help you expand awareness of your strengths and limits, explore new paths to effectiveness, then support you as you build powerful new behaviors that transform how you "show up" in your life and work. You will achieve more clarity, build broader leadership skills, and expand your capacity to LEAD your life on a MUCH bigger stage!

I have helped thousands of leaders and business owners just like you to increase effectiveness at work AND live a happier, more balanced life. I invite you to contact me for a free Leadership Strategy Session to learn how you can create a less-stress leadership presence.

Reach me directly: Jim@TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com or +1-440-885-3247.

All things Happiness Coach:

Blog: www.LifeWithHappiness.com. Ask me a question on LinkedIn, Friend me on Facebook, or Follow me on Twitter.

                

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Copyright © 2011, All Rights Reserved. Reproduction for publication is encouraged, with the following attribution: "From HAPPINESS@THESPEEDOFLIFE, by Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®, 440-885-3247 or www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com. Join the Happiness Conversation at www.LifeWithHappiness.com." If you choose to do otherwise, I will be very unhappy.

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