1,014 words of content including How to use Acceptance as a tool to empower yourself and others. Approximate reading time required: 4.06 minutes. And isn't your Happiness worth it?

Welcome to my e-newsletter, which focuses on defining and applying the Principles of Happiness and Positive Emotion in your life and work.

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1. Do You Accept You, Flaws Included?
2. Personal: What an Idiot!
3. In the Workplace: What, Not How
4. About the Coach

In the past three weeks I started new coaching relationships with 19 people, and I feel so honored by the trust that these individuals have chosen to place in me AND IN THEM SELVES.

The code of conduct for professional coaches holds that, "the client is whole, creative, and resourceful." No one is broken, there is nothing to "fix." Yet in today's world where the value of independence and self-sufficiency is so strong, entering into a personal coaching relationship requires more than a small bit of Courage.

In a way, the first step for a coaching client is similar to most 12 Step programs, where one starts by saying, "Where I am is no longer working for me." When you say "Yes" to coaching, you have accepted that you are "getting in your own way" and that the tools you have are insufficient to achieve the goal(s) you hold.

In the first session of a new coaching relationship we focus most attention on building the framework for coaching (getting acquainted, logistics, goal definition, etc) and many times we spend only a few minutes actually coaching. Yet, at the end of that meeting when I ask, "what are you taking away, today?" the coachee can always describe one or more valuable insights or powerful actions they created during the conversation.

The simple act of showing up and diving deeply into a problem or goal area generates huge new awareness and possibility, because declaring "I can't do this on my own!" is so empowering. When you accept and admit that you are not perfect and you do not have The Correct Answer, you also open the possibility that there are MANY correct answers, and many paths toward your goal.

When you accept your flaws and shortcomings, you also accept that you're smart, experienced, and able to change... and that, my dear reader, is a powerful place to be!

Have you accepted responsibility for your own happiness? The 13 Principles of Happiness provide a framework for living a happier life. Download a copy to post at your desk or on your fridge at home.

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Imagine you lose all your email. Your Inbox, 250 items, gone. Your sent files, gone. Your backups, failed.

What would you do?

It happened to me, last week. Gone. Phfft. Part systemic failure, part stupidity.

As my webmaster walked me through the conversion to a new mail server, everything went smoothly. All that remained was to adjust the account settings on my desktop. In my excitement, I took the additional step of clicking <Delete> on my old account setting (thinking this would merely stop the computer from searching for the old server).

To my horror, I discovered that my extra "click" had also deleted my Inbox and history file!

I moved through the stages of grieving after a loss:

• Denial (what?! That can't be true!).
• Anger (You idiot! <unprintable words> How could you do that?!).
• Bargaining (please, God, I will give up dark chocolate if you help me find the data!).
• Depression (ugh. <darkness> everyone will know I'm an idiot. I'm going to lose business...)
• And then, Acceptance.

Yes, at the moment I should have been FREAKING OUT (!!!) I found myself--strangely--serene. All my years of practicing calm kicked in, and as I accepted the truth I just... sat back and took many DEEP breaths.

AND from that space, I thought: "Let's be honest, Jim. For ten years you have struggled to achieve the fantasy of an empty Inbox. This may not be the path you chose, but isn't it the goal you want?"

I achieved a lifelong goal, as the aftermath of a digital disaster. And I'm OK. AND, because my Inbox was my reminder system, I have no record of my follow-ups, in-process conversations or even some deliverables. (P.S. if I owe you something, call me!)

I accepted this "disaster" as a sign from The Universe (that I needed to let go). Next, I've turned my attention to creating good from this situation:

• I now have double backups in place
• I feel a deep calm and trust that things will turn out OK, even though I cannot respond to people who have made requests of me
• No more duplicate handling, as the new mail setup keeps all my devices (phone, iPad, laptop, desktop) in perfect sync
• I have removed a significant distraction, in that without a stuffed inbox to continually call my attention away ("Squirrel!") I can focus on my priority list

Maybe I'm not such an idiot after all!?

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How do you practice acceptance as a leader?

Start by accepting that the people on your team are who they are, and you will never fulfill your fantasy of a self-organizing, problem-free, zero-defect world filled with people who have mastered every technical, professional, and interpersonal competency. (P.S. if they did, why would they need you?)

You practice Acceptance when you:

• Seek ideas from one of the creatives on your team without mentioning their messy desk
• Sign off on that marketing copy even when you think your own ideas might be better
• Patiently explain, again, a new process to a coworker
• Take that important call in a conference room rather than whine about the noise while everyone else is cooing over pictures of Helen's new grandson
• Set aside a project to help someone else, even when they've never helped with your work
• Offer praise for a job well done, despite the fact that it was late

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who accepts that imperfection is part of the human condition, and who strives to engage and appreciate people for what they ARE versus resenting what they are not.

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Hi, I'm Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach^®. I work with smart, successful people like you, who secretly struggle with stress and overwhelm as you strive to succeed at the next level. I help you become a better leader AND dump the stress.

I have helped thousands of leaders and business owners just like you to increase effectiveness at work AND live a happier, more balanced life. Contact me to learn how you can create a less-stress leadership presence.

If you received this from a friend, SUBSCRIBE now to get your own copy in the future, plus you'll get a valuable leadership report!

All things Happiness Coach:

Blog: www.LifeWithHappiness.com. Connect on LinkedIn, Facebook.

             

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Copyright © 2012, All Rights Reserved. Reproduction for publication is encouraged, with the following attribution: "From HAPPINESS@THESPEEDOFLIFE, by Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®. For more tips on Leading with Less Stress, visit www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com." If you choose to do otherwise, I will be very unhappy.

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