Happiness@TheSpeedofLife: Will You Be Static or Responsive This Year?

Published: Wed, 01/16/13



January 2013

Will You Be Static or Responsive This Year?

1628 words of content including seven tips for living in Responsiveness, an unexpected rant on Leadership, and an invitation to Connect. Approximate reading time: 6.51 minutes (under 3 minutes if you skip the rant). And isn't your Happiness worth it?

Welcome to my e-newsletter, which focuses on defining and applying the Principles of Happiness and Positive Emotion in your life and work.

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In This Issue
  1. Feature: Will You Be Static or Responsive?
  2. Are You Connected?
  3. In The Workplace: Are You a Responsive Leader?
  4. About the Coach

I. Will You Be Static or Responsive?

I recently learned that I must move my website to a new technology platform. The short story: I was one of the first of my kind to have my own website in 1998. While I've rebranded and redesigned the site many times, the guts of it are still written in an "ancient" programming language that will no longer be supported. In 15 years a LOT has changed!

The move will take me from a traditional "static" website to a new framework called "responsive." A responsive site changes the way it appears on-screen based on the device used for access; thus my future site will automatically adjust its look and function to suit your desktop, tablet, or smart phone. Cool, no?

All this talking about Responsiveness leads me to think about its application in other domains like, well, life!

Happiness Principle #7 says, Choose to Respond. What happens is going to happen, regardless. Accept constant, discontinuous change as reality and instead of reacting, respond with curiosity."

How will you live in 2013, a year in which more will change - and at a faster rate - than in any prior year in human history? Will you be Static or Responsive?

Here are seven ideas to help you survive, thrive, and be responsive this year:
  1. Embrace Your Failures. Your past has made you who you are; but it need not determine whom you will be. You only learn by falling down. So, review what you learned, decide how that experience has made you better, stronger, or wiser, and move forward confident that you will not repeat that mistake. (P.S. you will make new ones. It's part of the journey.)
  2. Be Quiet. The world is full of noise, so how can you think? For just a few minutes each day, do nothing. Mindfulness is one of the most powerful anti-stress "medicines" in the world - and it's free! (For more, I invite you to take ten minutes to view this excellent TED Talk.)
  3. Ask More Questions. When a zillion things come at you, you need a way to filter so you can respond selectively. Be curious about the world, e.g. is this really important, or is it just loud? What do I really want? What am I aware of in this moment? What's getting in my way? What's mine to do (no more, no less)?
  4. Breathe On Purpose. Whether you are still or in rapid motion, oxygen is your biggest ally for responding to the world, because it fuels your thinking center. Your brain uses 25% of the oxygen you breathe, and if you are in shallow breath, you're not using your full capacity.
  5. Let Go of Something. You have finite capacity, so if you want to grow or learn or expand in new directions, you must say NO to what does not fit.

    I wasted a ton of energy last year trying to hang on to a client who never seemed happy. Once I changed my response and let them go, I was surprised by what I was able to accomplish with all the time I freed up!
  6. Say YES to Something New. Change is uncomfortable even when you initiate it, yet notice all the stress that disappears when you say yes. Last year my mother (who has been going blind for a decade) embraced Red Cane training, and has learned that it's more fun to be out in public when she no longer has to worry about running into people.
  7. Remember to Dance. I don't necessarily mean with a partner, in a ballroom. The first thing you do when you dance is take a step; whether forward or backward, you put yourself intentionally off balance. Dancing is the act of falling. And recovering. And falling again. Notice that you're good at this - you've been doing it since you learned to walk. If you can do it to music, even better. Enjoy the dance.

 

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II. Are You Connected?

Create Connection. Lead Well. Be Happy.

Wow - there is so much happening behind the scenes right now to support the celebration of my 15th year in business.

  • Video has been shot and is on the editor's desktop now.
  • My new website is in process.
  • I'm finalizing dates for my live workshops (a new experience).
  • Much of the writing is complete and editors have begun work on my next books (a series of three!).
  • I've uploaded the core materials for my Happiness App (coming to your smart phone soon).
  • I'm finishing the design for my new group-coaching program.

This monthly venue is too small to hold all the great stuff coming out this year to support Leadership and Happiness, so I invite you to be an early adopter - join the MORE HAPPINESS conversation to get early notice, be part of my R&D group, and hear of special offers as part of a tribe of connectors.

P.S. If you are quite happy with this monthly 'zine, just ignore the extra notes.

Create Connection. Lead Well. Be Happy.

 

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III. In The Workplace: Are You a Responsive Leader?

{Rant warning - only read this section if you want to risk being needlessly ticked off at me.}

Are you a Responsive Leader? If not, get out. Now. Get off the bus. I mean it. You are killing the rest of us!

One of the ways I describe my work is this: My passion is to save the work world from bad management, one LEADER at a time. I do not do this from theory - I do this out of my experience.

When I entered the workplace after college, I made a lot of mistakes. I was smart and creative and made some big impact; but I was frequently arrogant, unhappy with myself, and inconsiderate of others. I often rode roughshod over people. I did not care, I just wanted results. I demanded compliance to my way. I got stuff done, dammit!

Six years into my career, I was blessed to encounter a boss who smacked me back and said, Stop that! For one really long, intense, and sometimes miserable year, he challenged and re-built my world view around leading people. He was the first of my mentors to teach me the difference between being successful vs effective, and how it was possible to get stuff done AND have fun at work.

I learned to listen to people, and to care and respond to what THEY wanted, versus what I was smart enough to tell them. What I heard led me to challenge many of the conventions of the day (though these feel normal today, it was not the case in the 1980s!).

Over the next decade of my career I continued to make mistakes, but I took a lot of risks and opened up new territory as a result. I ripped time clocks off the walls when I understood how demeaning they were to my teams, and replaced them with trust. I adopted casual dress long before it was normal. I fought the system to allow key managers and professional staff to continue in their roles part-time after childbirth, or to share a leadership job. I pioneered flexible work hours, and faced down gender and age bias because I was the only "guy" who would take it on. And I challenged the suffocating, compliance-based cultures I encountered, helping to build more positive, participative workplaces.

Am I bragging, here? Yeah, ya betcha. I am proud of the role I played 20 years ago in making change in the workplace. At the same time, I am frequently amazed (and even horrified) at how many organizations continue to treat people in ways that the pre-1980 version of me would recognize. "You are a cog. You are disposable. We don't care about you. Fit in or suffer." Eeewww!

Because I was responsive, I was not always predictable; some people did not like me or what I did. Yet others followed me with a fierce loyalty precisely because I DID change things up, because I listened and responded with curiosity rather than "explanation."

My primary tool for change became Conversation. Engaging with others was both a way to learn and a way to teach - and a path to change (and it's the foundation of all that I do today as a coach).

How do you foster responsiveness in yourself? Do you make the effort to understand what people really need/want, match that to what the organization really needs, and seek a way to meet both sets of needs? Or are you a cookie-cutter manager who expects everyone to fit into the "system" in the same way, which of course makes it easy for you?

Do you ask questions? Do you Listen to the answers? Do you take action, make change, and challenge the system (including yourself) to adapt? Or do you do an annual survey and then spend the next six months explaining how the data is bad, so you won't have to change anything?

If you are the latter, you are not a leader. You are static. You are expecting the world to adapt to you. Sorry, not gonna happen.

In addition, if you can't or won't change, please notice that you're miserable and you're making everyone around you miserable, too. Step aside. A new generation of leaders is waiting.

Ask questions. Listen. Create and stay in conversation. Respond.

{That's the end of my rant. Happy New Year.}

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who lives in a place of responsiveness, striving to balance the needs of the organization with the needs of the real people who work there.

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IV. About the Coach

Jim Smith, The Executive Happiness Coach(R) Hi, I'm Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®. I work with smart, successful people like you, who sometimes struggle with the relentless demands of your role. I help you dramatically improve your effectiveness as a leader, balance your life, and build a more positive workplace culture.

I have helped thousands of leaders and business owners just like you lead your organizations in new ways AND live a happier, more balanced life. Contact me to learn how you can create a less-stress leadership presence.

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All things Happiness Coach:
Blog: www.LifeWithHappiness.com. Connect on LinkedIn, Facebook.

                       

View past editions at http://www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com/newsletter/archives.cfm.

 
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Happiness is a decision, not an event.
How will YOU decide today?
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