Happiness@TheSpeedofLife: Do You Enjoy Random Happiness?
Published: Wed, 08/21/13
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Edition 105: Do You Enjoy Random Happiness? |
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1,549 words of content including cute baby pix, and isn't that reason enough to open this email? PLUS five awesome ways to flex your Happiness Muscles. Approximate reading time: 6.2 minutes. And isn't your Happiness worth it? Welcome to my e-newsletter, which focuses on defining and applying the Principles of Happiness and Positive Emotion in your life and work. If you received this from a friend, SUBSCRIBE now to get your own copy in the future. |
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I'm having a problem with focus. Anyone else out there having that issue? My head spins so fast anymore that if I attached a propeller I'd take off like a helicopter.
<Squirrel!> Uhm, what was I talking about? See, that's what I mean. Focus. Sticking with one thing for a long time is so, well, last century. Last millennium. Last week, even. I offer that reality as explanation for this month's random walk around Happiness. Random Happiness
1. TIMELESS WISDOM. In a recent sermon, Fr. Steve quoted the great philosopher Thomas Aquinas, "Quidquid recipitur ad modum recipientis recipitur." Though written many centuries ago, it feels truer today. What? Oh, sorry. I forgot you don't speak Latin. Translation: "Whatever is received is received according to the mode of the receiver." For example, a person who is angry or bitter or chronically sad receives all conversation and interaction through that lens. As Fr. Steve pointed out, grouchy people like other crabs (misery loves company) while Happy people annoy them. Those who nurture in themselves Happiness, Gratitude, and Love will see the world as a more positive, nurturing, happy place. It's not the world that is different, but the nature of the receiver. I invite you to the question, "What mode of receiving do you nurture in yourself?" Do you look for the brokenness, the bad news, and the worst? Or do you look for the good news, the possibility, and the proof that people are kind and caring? Both are out there in the world and you can't control them; what you CAN control is the filter you use to receive it all. 2. CLUTTER AFFECTS THE HEART, MIND, AND SOUL. In January I started working with coach Andrea Sharb, a professional organizer, who has helped me regain some control over my world. She showed me new digital tools for managing my calendar and task list via the Cloud, so I can remain updated no matter my location. I have dramatically reduced both my stress and my use of Post-It notes! I spent the first few minutes of a recent coaching session on unproductive whining. Coach Andrea patiently heard me out and then invited me to look around. Once I stepped back from my self-serving story of "I'm overwhelmed" I noticed the physical clutter pushing at me: papers in disarray, file bins full to bursting, and piles, piles, piles everywhere. I was working from a tiny space in the middle of my desk. "Hmm, could that be the problem, Jim?"
I didn't lose any weight, but I sure feel lighter. This episode reminded me how too much "stuff" in the physical environment can create emotional baggage. What's the clutter in YOUR world that weighs you down? It might be the magazines under the bed, that back closet that makes you shudder, or the entire basement. Or maybe it's your desk at work, the backseat of your car, or the virtual baggage you're carrying around from last year when your sister took a swipe at you at dinner, and you haven't let it go. Imagine how much lighter and happier you might feel if you got rid of some of your junk? 3. GETTING STUFF DONE = PLEASURE! Last week I completed a Request For Proposal for a government entity. I had to submit two hard copies and one electronic. The printout was an insane 104 pages long! I felt great Pleasure as I sealed up the envelope on that monster and dropped it off with the client. Then I had a beer - and ooh, that tasted good! When you complete big projects, what's the next thing you do? Do you immediately turn to your task list to crank out the next thing, or do you give yourself the space to celebrate and savor your accomplishment? I'm just askin... 4. SOMETIMES AN OBSTACLE IS A GIFT. Cheryl and I celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary this month, and for many years we've promised ourselves a Big Trip to celebrate. We were into our second month of planning when a family event got scheduled on top of our travel dates. We were at first irritated that it cut into our vacation time. We decided to embrace the shorter time and looked for venues closer to home with short This is all about making lemonade from lemons. We won't have a beach, but we'll have a break from the daily grind nonetheless. We will be well fed and pampered (did you know Disney has great spas?). Best of all, the change put us under budget, so we may even sneak in a long weekend later this year. How do you respond to breakdowns and obstacles? Notice that flexibility allows you to say "Yes, And..." to whatever steps into your path. Chances are that whatever eventually happens will be just as much - if not more - fun than your original plans! 5. GRANDCHILDREN ARE A JOY!
We recently welcomed Clara Ann into the family, to join her big brother Jonathan. I am having SO MUCH FUN watching these little ones grow. I cannot recall a time in the past three years when I've been able to hold a bad mood in the face of a giggly toddler, and now there will be two of them! Children know how to access Joy and Happiness from the time they are born. We gradually train them out of it, though, and for many people it's hard to remember that time in their life when nothing was "serious" and it was easy to feel Happy.  Where are the spaces in your life that allow you to connect to your joy? Just because you are older does not mean you can't find fascination in watching worms, dance with abandon, or pretend you are a fierce dinosaur in the jungle. Your imagination and innocence are still there, buried under all that junk. Pull them out and dust them off every so often, and remember that Happiness is in your nature. And maybe every so often you can chase a Squirrel! ~~~~~~~~~~~~
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In the fabulous Pixar film, Up, my favorite character is Dug, the talking dog who initially shows up wearing the Cone of Shame but eventually becomes a hero. On the way to his destiny he ...
Over the next week I spent 10+ hours clearing years of accumulated paper. I built a waist-high pile of documents for the shredder. My office area opened up and I have LOTS of room in my bins for new client files (see picture).
travel time and less hassle. Enter My Disney Experience. Yes, we are going to Disney World, sans children. Our plans are shorter and simpler, and we are so excited!
We raised four kids, and I think I missed a good deal of it from sleep deprivation. I'm having more fun helping with my two grandchildren, who live next door. |
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My colleague Neera Menon, a coach based in the United Kingdom, is hosting a video summit of Global Experts on Happiness. This FREE video series began August 12 and continues all month. The focus of my 25-minute interview - to be released this Saturday, August 24, was Happiness and Leadership in the workplace. It's an awesome series thus far, and you can still view the archives. You can register here. In my interview I'm going to reveal a SPECIAL OFFER only available to listeners, and I know it's something you'll enjoy. So be sure to register for the series and mark your calendars for Saturday (you can view Sunday or Monday, as well).
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I often lead a short exercise in my leadership workshops to increase awareness of impact. I invite you to play along. Grab a pencil and paper.
If the number is less than 3, you may as well be hitting them with a stick. Studies from the fields of Positive Psychology, Emotional Intelligence, and Employee Engagement all lead to the same conclusions: if the ratio of positive/affirmative to negative interactions is less than 3:1, that person will have no memory of the positive. In order to make a withdrawal from someone's emotional bank (critical feedback) you need to first make some deposits. This truth applies as much to managing team members as it does to raising children, nurturing a partner relationship, or engaging customers. 3:1. Three to One. DON'T BE RANDOM. If you seek to build a positive culture of engaged people, make it a priority to say Thank You for work well done, and show appreciation for people's contributions. P.S. Is there a point of "too much?" Yes. At 12:1 or more, people start to doubt your sincerity. It's about balance. People WANT some developmental feedback, and if they are making mistakes, they want to know. But they also want to know you are paying attention to what they are doing right. Create Connections. Lead Well. Be Happy. Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who fosters an environment of Appreciation appropriately balanced with a Challenge to do better. P.S. I would LOVE to work with you to help you be a better leader - and I'll bet you'd love to get a 7:1 return on your next investment for professional development! To explore if coaching is the right move for you, visit http://www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com/coaching/executive-coaching/
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Contact me to how you can actually be effective AND Happy in your role. Really! If you received this from a friend, SUBSCRIBE now to get your own copy in the future, plus you'll get a valuable leadership report! All things Happiness Coach:  
 View past editions at http://www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com/resources/archives/. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Happiness is a decision,
not an event.
How will YOU decide
today?
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Hi, I'm Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®. I work with smart, successful people like you, who secretly struggle with what it truly means to lead well in a crazy busy world. I help you dramatically improve your effectiveness as a leader, balance your life, and build a more positive workplace culture.