Happiness@TheSpeedofLife: The Most Powerful Way to Create Goals that Get Results

Published: Wed, 01/22/14



January 2014

Edition 110: The Most Powerful Way to Create Goals that Get Results

1,531 words of content including Three Steps to Powerful Goals, 31 examples, and the wisdom of Yoda. Approximate reading time: 6.12 minutes. And isn't your Happiness worth it?

Welcome to my e-newsletter, which focuses on defining and applying the Principles of Happiness and Positive Emotion in your life and work.

If you received this from a friend, SUBSCRIBE now to get your own copy in the future.


In This Issue
  1. Write Powerful Goals
  2. News You Can Use
  3. Bonus - Personal
  4. The Executive Happiness Coach®

I. The Most Powerful Way to Create Goals that Get Results

Every year I create a plan for my business. I usually start with the numbers, then build my strategies, then finish with narrative reflection (past year accomplishments, lessons learned) and goals.

This year I felt the itch to change my approach, and with the help of my coach turned my process upside down. First I re-visited my foundation: Purpose, Mission, and personal Core Values. Next, I documented my accomplishments from last year, and from that positive space I found it much easier to envision what success will look like this year. Crunching the numbers was almost an afterthought. It's the best business plan I've created in 16 years.

The deep dive into my Core Values and aspirations revealed something powerful to me, and I realized it has been the secret to my success for a long time:

I don't "do" Goals. I do Declarations.

I've been teaching this idea for years, but for the first time I realized how truly, remarkably powerful the approach has been for me over nearly three decades.

The secret is in the language. In my personal document (Purpose, Mission, Values), none of the following words appear: want, need, should, not, stop, try, or will. Instead, the document is filled with phrases like I am, I have, I feel, I make, and many other action verbs.

Listen to the Language of Your Goal
  • When you say, "I want..." or "I need..." you are stating a Wish or Desire, not a goal. "I want to be a better communicator" feels noble, but so what? There's nothing in that statement to move you forward. It's no more powerful than saying, "I want to fly to Mars."
  • When you say, "I should..." you name a standard to which you aspire, but that's not a goal. "I should be a better listener." How true. Shouldn't we all?
  • When your goal statement includes Not or Stop, notice that what you really do is point your attention to the thing you seek to move away from, versus pointing to your goal. For example, "I will not eat cake!" What are you thinking about now? See my point?
  • When you say, "I will..." notice how you give yourself permission to put it off, e.g. "I will... sometime.... tomorrow... when I'm not busy or stressed or distracted." Yeh, like that's gonna happen!
  • The worst sort of self-deceiving goal starts with "I will try..." Yoda had the best comeback to that phrasing when he said, "No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no Try." When you promise to 'Try' you assume failure and you sap your goal of its life force. If your goal is "I will try to save more money" and you get to year-end with zero in savings, you can always say, "Well, I tried!" 'Try' promises effort but not outcomes.
Give your Goals POWER!

Instead, Declare your goal; make it a statement as though it is already true. Follow the Three P's in writing your goal:

  • Personal - write it in the first person, as an "I" statement, so when you say it out loud, you own it in your head, your heart, your body
  • Positive - focus on what you DO want (versus what you're wanting to stop or lose)
  • Present - use language that contains present-tense action verbs, as though the goal has already been attained

Then engage the fourth P: Practice. Imagine and enjoy the feeling of reaching your goal. Consciously engage in the action of the goal every day. Take one minute each week to look at the goal, say it out loud, and notice how powerfully you feel the DISCONNECT when what you Say and what you Do are out of alignment.

Let that sense of disconnection drive you to behave according to your goal, versus behaving out of habit. NOTE: this is a slower process than a Makeover or a crash diet, but will in the end yield more permanent shifts in your patterns of thinking, feeling, acting, and leading.

To help your thinking, here are 19 examples from my client archive:
  1. I listen fully to the other person when I am in a conversation.
  2. I communicate - out loud - what I am thinking in meetings.
  3. I practice being relaxed for two minutes every day.
  4. I work out three mornings a week.
  5. I always take enough time away from work to keep my batteries charged and my perspective fresh.
  6. When an important decision must be made, I ask everyone on my team to share their thinking before we finalize.
  7. I forgive myself. I forgive others.
  8. My smile brings happiness to the world around me.
  9. I am in competition with only one person ... myself. I am competing to be the best I can be.
  10. I am what I eat. My body is a machine that I fuel properly so I can feel well and live fully.
  11. The three most important things in my life are my health, my family and friends, and my education. Everything else is secondary.
  12. I have at least three feedback conversations every day with someone on the team. I balance appreciative and growth.
  13. I slow down and become conscious of life's simple pleasures.
  14. I let go of the stuff I do not use.
  15. I start and end all my meetings on time.
  16. I work to improve myself, first.
  17. Every day, I do something that makes me a little bit uncomfortable and stretches my limits.
  18. I make at least one thing a little bit better before I go home from work each day.
  19. I spend at least four hours each week on focused marketing activity for my business.
Do This For Yourself:
  1. A) If you have no written goals, start with just one. Choose an area of your life or work where it will make a big impact if you show up differently.

    B) If you already have many goals (which are not working for you), revise them through the filter of the 3Ps.
  2. Tweak the language until your goals read as Personal, Present, and Positive declarations.
  3. Speak out loud your new goal declaration. Do it in front of a mirror or a witness. If it does not resonate within you, keep tweaking the language until it does.
  4. Practice regularly - speak the declaration, take the action, and make the shift, tiny bits at a time.

That's Powerful!

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The 13 Principles of Happiness offer a framework for happiness in the Now. Download a copy today to generate new goals and conversation for 2014.

 

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II. News You Can Use

LISTEN: Learn How Happiness and Leadership Connect

Final Reminder: join communication expert Skip Weisman tomorrow as he interviews me on the topic of Happiness and Leadership in the Workplace (if you can't make it, register and you can listen to the mp3 recording later).

To register for this free call, go here: http://www.communicationpowerforleaders.com/expertinterviewseries/

READ: Harvard Business Review Sees the Happiness Connection

In this HBR Blog, the author poses the question, which comes first: Happiness or Success? Perhaps the answer will surprise you. http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/01/why-cant-we-stop-working/

Notice how powerfully the author makes the case for Happiness Principle #12: Focus on Today. If you're always saying, "I know I'll be happy WHEN...." you make your happiness conditional on outside events. Start with you, first.

TAKE ACTION: Grow Your Leadership in 2014

There's no better time than January to tap into the OD budget in your organization. You want to accelerate your growth this year? Skip the expensive one-shot workshop at Case or Wharton and invest in something with a better ROI: an executive coach.

Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, says the best advice he ever got was to hire a good coach. Go here to start your own coaching exploration.

 

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III. Bonus - Personal

This month's newsletter felt very personal for me. This is really how I live, and I'm excited to share with you something that I believe works well. To me, the two most remarkable goals in my personal document were these:

~ "I wear the same size clothes at age 65 as I did when I was 22" and
~ "I make a conscious and deliberate choice, every day, to be happy."

When I wrote those present-tense declarations, I was 28 years old and very UNhappy much of the time. Age 22 was in the rearview mirror and 65 felt impossibly far away. I was stressed to the max and I was sick; I weighed 30 pounds more than I do today, I was on heart medication, my blood pressure was 145/95 and my cholesterol was 220+, and my diet was crap. My doctors wanted to put me on a lot more meds.

Once I experienced the daily disconnect between my behavior and my declarations, my entire lifestyle started shifting, one tiny habit and decision at a time. 30 years later, I am in excellent health, meds-free, and within spitting distance of the sub-goal -- and am actually one size thinner than when I was 22. And because I made the conscious choice over 9,000 times, I am so strong in my Happiness that I chose it as my brand!

If you've read to the end, here's a little bonus: proof that I live what I coach.

MY CORE VALUES
  1. HAPPINESS - I make a conscious and deliberate choice, every day, to carry Happiness as my mood, my primary filter, and my message.
  2. LOVE - I take intentional action each day to express my love to others.
  3. HEALTH - I have a strong and healthy body, mind, and spirit to ensure quality of life.
  4. CREATING - I immerse myself in new experiences and ideation.
  5. LEARNING - I observe so that I can learn. I am curious, always.
  6. AUTHENTICITY - I speak from my heart. I am comfortable in my own body.
  7. MINDFULNESS - I give purposeful attention to my actions, my inactions, and how I think, speak, and breathe. I daily practice being present and showing up fully in my conversations.
  8. SPIRITUALITY - I feel secure in my love of God and am satisfied with my spiritual connection.
  9. PEACE/FINANCIAL FREEDOM - I feel financially secure, for today and for the future.

 

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IV. The Executive Happiness Coach®

Jim Smith, The Executive Happiness Coach(R) The Executive Happiness Coach® is a global provider of Executive Coaching and mentoring services. With clients in nearly 30 countries, I am dedicated to the work of making a Happier world and workplace, one Leader at a time.

Contact me if you seek more Happiness, Leadership, and balance in your life.

If you received this from a friend, SUBSCRIBE now to get your own copy in the future, plus you'll get a valuable leadership report!

All things Happiness Coach:
Blog: Life With Happiness. Connect on LinkedIn, Facebook.

                       

View past editions at http://www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com/resources/archives/.

 
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Happiness is a decision, not an event.
How will YOU decide today?
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