Happiness@TheSpeedofLife: Stop. Start. More. Happy.

Published: Wed, 06/18/14



June 2014

Edition 115: Stop. Start. More. Happy

1,097 words of content including 25+ ideas for leading and living happier. Approximate reading time: 4.39 minutes. And isn't your Happiness worth it?

This newsletter speaks to Leadership, Happiness, and Coaching in your life and work.

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In This Issue
  1. Stop. Start. More. Happy.
  2. Save the Date: August 21, The Leading EDGE
  3. In The Workplace: Leverage What You Already Do
  4. The Executive Happiness Coach®

I. STOP. START. MORE. HAPPY.

Let's see a show of hands: how many of you are working on personal change goals? Yep, I thought so. How balanced is your thinking process?

On the journey from "where you are today" to "where you want to be," it is just as important to identify what you want to KEEP as what you want to CHANGE. One of my favorite tools to engage people in that conversation is Stop-Start-More (SSM), which works like this:

In service of <this goal/vision/aspiration>:

What do I need to STOP doing?
What do I need to START doing?
What do I need to do MORE of?

In other words, let's identify:

  1. What gets in your way?
  2. What you need to create, and
  3. What tools and conversations and processes and skills do you already possess that you can leverage anew to move you to the goal?

I love the exercise because it gives attention to strengths. The approach acknowledges what is already working and may simply need to be turned up a notch or repurposed.

SSM is a wonderful coaching tool I use to pull people out of what I call the "running away from..." goal framework. You know what I mean: I want to AVOID anger. I want to STOP procrastinating. I want to QUIT being impatient. OK, great; yet those statements identify only what you are running away from. What do you want? What's the powerful positive to pull you forward? What have you got to work with already?

Here's a quick example:

I want to live a healthy(ier) life. To support that goal:

  • What do I need to STOP doing? Maybe the daily fast food lunches. Stocking the house with junk food. Saying No when friends invite me to the gym. Unsustainable drastic/fad diets. Focusing on denial.
  • What do I need to START doing? Walk at lunch. Shop differently. Keep a food log. Go to yoga class.
  • What do I need to Do MORE of? Sleep - to bed an hour earlier. Take the stairs. Cook larger meals and freeze for rushed days. Add more variety so I don't get bored and stop.

Notice that SSM is not just about one response to each question; it's about generating ideas for yourself then looking for the strongest themes and using those.

Let's apply the tool to Happiness.

What do you need to STOP doing to be Happier?

  • Worrying about what other people think about you. You don't need other people's approval to be happy.
  • Comparing yourself to others. Live your own life vs. compete with others.
  • Beating yourself up over yesterday's mistakes. If life is a book, yesterday was just one chapter. Focus on the next one.
  • Hanging on to resentment. Forgiveness is the strongest thing you can do for yourself

What do you need to START doing to increase your Happiness?

  • Pay attention to the good stuff. Practicing Gratitude and Awe every day strengthens your awareness of positivity in life.
  • Fake it to feel it. Act on your happiness; walk with shoulders back and a smile on your face.
  • Change your thoughts. It's often your own stories that hurt you. Write new scripts for yourself.
  • Take risks, and fail with grace. Paralysis is an enemy of happiness. Good or bad, make decisions and keep moving and learning.

What do you need to do MORE of to increase Happiness?

  • Hang out in happy spaces. Spend more time with the positive people in your life. Wear the clothes that make you feel great. Visit the places where you feel most alive, e.g. nature.
  • Breathe on purpose. You're always taking in air, but it's way more powerful when you notice and deepen your breath. Ahhhh!
  • Reach out and touch others. Connection is one of the pillars of happiness. We become more human when we build relationships.
  • Be present. When you focus always on the future, you miss what's happening right now. Enjoy life as it unfolds.

Summary: there are multiple paths to Happier. Some require giving up what's not serving you, some require new habits, and some give more time/energy/attention to something you're already doing. Which path you choose is less important than THAT you choose. Enjoy your journey.

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The 13 Principles of Happiness will remind you, every day, of things you can start, stop, and do more of to live a healthier, happier life. Download a copy today and post it on your cubicle wall or fridge at home. Think happy.

 

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II. SAVE THE DATE: AUGUST 21, DANCE ON YOUR EDGE

Join us for The Dance of Leadership, the inaugural session of the Leading EDGE Series.

This music-infused session is a fun way to explore how your physical presence and movement tells others volumes about you and your Leadership style.

Whether you think you "dance" or not... you do. Everyday.

When:

Thursday, August 21st from 3:30-6:30 PM.
Registration begins at 3:00 PM.

Program:

90-minute program followed by refreshments and social time

Location:

TBA

Investment:

$47 ($37 Early Bird before July 25, 2014)

More Info & Registration:

http://www.theexecutivehappinesscoach.com/
events/les-dance_of_leadership/

Your Leading EDGE Series Hosts are: Jim Smith, The Executive Happiness Coach® and Sue James & Craig James, from CatStrat & Screwball Universe City.

Watch for more details on the Series, coming to you in July.

For now, please mark your calendar for 3:00PM, Thursday August 21.

And turn up the music!

 

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III. IN THE WORKPLACE: LEVERAGE WHAT YOU ALREADY DO

In so many workplaces, the approach to problems is the same taken by townspeople in Salem, Massachusetts, in the 1700s when they wanted to "cure" a witch. Tie her to a rock and toss into the lake. If she lives, she's a witch, so we kill her. If she drowns... well, tsk, looks like she wasn't a witch. Hmm. Too bad.

Are you laughing at the illogic of that approach? Hold on. Think about the last time your team held a problem-solving session. "Here's an idea to fix the problem!" someone says. So, you place it on the table in the middle of the group, then beat it with sticks until it dies, right? OK, maybe not literally, but notice the process - everyone focuses on what will NOT work. We drown the idea before we give it air, assuming it was a bad idea all along.

Stop-Start-More (SSM) as a framework offers changes and projects a more balanced chance at life.

Let's say you want to improve communication with other departments. You would ask:

What do we need to STOP doing that gets in the way of cross-department communication?

What do we need to START doing to communicate better with other departments?

What do we need to do MORE of in our cross-department communication?

You can apply the SSM tool to many common workplace challenges:

  • Reduce errors on the line
  • Better serve our clients
  • Have more fun while getting more work done
  • Improve our environment to generate more ideas

Stop-Start-More can work with groups both small and large (the most I've done was 120 people). You might shift from white boards to walls of post-it notes, but the essence remains unchanged: generating a balanced set of ideas.

Work through all three questions and you'll notice themes emerge naturally. Those common themes become your starting points, for those are the ideas with the most support from the team.

Thus, SSM is a great consensus-building tool, in great part because it allows people to admire what they already do/have. The approach makes change feel more like leveraging what exists and less like an abrupt shift.

Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a Leader who supports having everyone engaged in the change process, and who helps generate ideas in a safe space.

~~~*~~~*~~~

Do you seek support to create the new Leadership habits you will need to succeed at the next level? To explore how you can engage a coach to make that happen faster and easier, write me back or visit here for more info.

 

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IV. The Executive Happiness Coach®

Jim Smith, The Executive Happiness Coach(R) The Executive Happiness Coach® is a global provider of Executive Coaching and mentoring services. With clients on six continents, my passion is to help build a Happier world and workplace, one Leader at a time.

Contact me to create more Happiness, Leadership, and balance in your life.

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All things Happiness Coach:

                       

View past editions at http://www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com/resources/archives/.

 
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Happiness is a decision, not an event.
How will YOU decide today?
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