1,379 words of content including 12 reasons why you are not already happy and successful. Approximate reading time: 5.15 minutes. And isn't your Happiness worth it?

This newsletter speaks to Leadership, Happiness, and Coaching in your life and work.

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1. Why You're Not Happy Yet
2. How You Move = How You Lead
3. In The Workplace: Why You're Not a Leader Yet
4. The Executive Happiness Coach®

I am a self-confessed self-improvement junkie. The symptoms of this addiction include an email Inbox filled with newsletters, piles of unread self-help books, and a relentless optimism that one will actually read and benefit from all that wisdom.

Does this sound like you, too? Where is that elusive Happiness hiding? How in heck are you supposed to relax when life is moving at 100 mph? Which of the hundred messages in queue contain "the secret" that will instantly change your life?

My own multi-decade journey toward positivity involved deadends, dark corners, and frustration. While I accumulated "knowledge" about optimism, joy, gratitude, and happiness, little changed in my emotional space.

Then a series of physical health challenges shifted my attention and I had my introduction to the concept of Practice: in order to get to a better place, I had to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Every day.

Here's the truth: It's not that living a happier, lower-stressed life is inherently difficult; it's that you're likely making the same mistakes I used to. So let's look at six reasons why you are not happy.

Admit it, you're afraid of what will happen if you declare, "I'm happy." You're afraid that others will judge your definition for "happy." You're afraid that if you get satisfied with life, you'll stop growing. Worst of all, you're afraid that others will feel jealous or "hurt" that you're happy when they are not (and how dare you?!)

In actuality, most people don't care WHY you're happy - they just want to be around you when you are. Emotions are contagious, and they want to get infected with the positive ones.

You tell yourself "I'm not good at being happy," because you constantly find yourself in undesirable emotions like anxiety, envy, sadness, or frustration. Even when you do feel happy, a little voice in your head says, "this won't last long."

Welcome to the Human Race! Scholars of emotion identify as many as 324 different emotional states we can inhabit. In any day - heck, in any minute of any day - you will move in and out of multiple emotions. Happiness is a great place to visit and enjoy, yet even the most steadfast of happiness practitioners sample from many emotional buckets.

The goal is not to live in happiness all the time; it's to completely enjoy the moments when you are there.

The story you've created is that "I can't be happy until ___ happens." You have dozens of items to fill in that blank. You've subconsciously erected an invisible fence to keep happiness away until you can declare, "My life is perfect now. I'm allowed to be happy today."

Listen: if you loved Dark Chocolate but forbade yourself to partake until all conditions of your life were perfect, what would be the point of that life? If you consume a bit of chocolate every day, it makes the journey considerably more fun.

Enjoy happiness as part of the journey, not just the reward for arrival.

You've read great books. You've gathered fabulous advice from friends and family. You've worked with your coach. From all those sources you understand what you must do to strengthen your Positive Emotion muscles and experience more moments of happiness and joy.

But, but, but.... you're too busy to keep a Gratitude journal! You don't have time to write a Joy list! Physical exercise may raise your endorphin level, but when?! Your schedule is packed so tightly you can't find 60 seconds for deep breathing!

Really?

Your issue is not time; it's priority. Remember that every decision you make is a Yes to one thing and a No to something else. So decide: to what might you say No, so you can say Yes to a practice that strengthens happiness?

Even positive, self-initiated change is hard. The Unhappy you know is certain; the potential future Happy requires icky change in thinking, social networks, habits or behaviors. Ugh... it's easier and safer to stay where you are.

The trick to getting past your inertia is to go Tiny. Instead of promising yourself Big Change, try a commitment to itty-bitty single steps. Remember that the journey from water to steam occurs one degree at a time - slowly - yet once at 211F degrees it's only one degree more to boil.

Truth time: you are awesome, powerful, and have unlimited potential AND... that's not what you believe about yourself. While you treat others with respect, you beat yourself up constantly. You establish your standard at "Perfect," setting up a downward spiral as you continually fall short, thus justifying your low opinion of self.

It's just plain dumb to compare yourself to others. While competition is fun in sports, it's unhealthy in Life because everyone is running a different race. The only person you need to compete with is you; and in that competition, you are more than good enough - you will always be a winner!

Pick ONE story or habit you want to shift. DO something, daily, to practice it in a new way. Get out of your own way, and keep it simple.

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It's not to late to join me tomorrow as we explore a different dimension of leadership - your movement and energy.

We will meet at the IdeaCenter in the vibrant Playhouse Square district for an interactive program then debrief at the new Bin216 a few doors down.

Last minute registration for The Leading Edge here.

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Warren Bennis, one of the early pioneers in the study of Leadership, died on July 31. It's been over 50 years since Bennis and his contemporary, Peter Drucker, "invented" the field of Leadership, distinguishing it from its companion discipline, Management.

While billions of words have since been written about how to be a more effective leader, those with a Manager mindset and skillset still vastly outnumber Leaders in the workplace and the world. Why?

I believe it has to do with Courage. Management is power bestowed upon individuals via a title/position, while Leadership is something one must step into on their own terms, often challenging the very systems that Management is tasked with protecting.

So why aren't you a Leader yet? What's stopping you from stepping into your greatness?

1. You're Scared to Lead. Putting yourself out there means being visible and taking risks. You might fail. Someone might criticize you.
   
   Of course, you might also rock someone's world by taking a new approach or completely shift the dynamics of your organization. So what do you want: safe, or better?
2. You Think It's Someone Else's Job. You've accepted the hogwash handed down from managers before you, who've convinced you that they've got things well in hand. Don't believe it! The world is changing fast, and it takes EVERYONE to make success happen. Including you.
3. You're Waiting for The Mail to Arrive, with a gold-engraved invitation to join the ranks of leadership. Uhm, Not! Start practicing the art/skill of leadership NOW. When you make yourself valuable on your own initiative, you'll get invited to join the bigger conversation. But if you expect others to "see your potential" without accompanying action, you'll be waiting forever.
4. You Expect Others to be Accountable. One of my favorite myths to bust is that you "Create Accountability by hiring great people." Nonsense. Great people badly managed will still turn out crap results.
   
   Try this instead: Learn how to make clear Requests based on mutual agreement; then follow up to say, "Thanks!" or ask, "What happened?" When you close loops, you create a Culture of Accountability through your Leadership.
5. You're a Lousy Communicator. One-way transmission is NOT communication. Leaders understand that Conversation and Dialogue - two-way forms of communication - allow for flexibility and deeper understanding, which lead to happier, more engaged teams.
6. You Don't Really Care. Here's a secret - Leadership is about THEM, not you. If you don't like or respect others, you'll not have any followers. Oh, you might become a manager, and direct reports must obey orders, but without nurturing relationships you'll just be another butt(head) in a seat.
   
   Put your heart into it, and you'll enroll the hearts of others in your mission.

Remember, Leadership is not about a title. Anyone can be a Leader who brings Courage, Clarity, and Compassion to the work they do.

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The Executive Happiness Coach® is a global provider of Executive Coaching and mentoring services. With clients on six continents, my passion is to help build a Happier world and workplace, one Leader at a time.

Contact me to create more Happiness, Leadership, and balance in your life.

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Copyright © 2014, All Rights Reserved. Reproduction for publication is encouraged, with the following attribution: "From HAPPINESS@TheSPEEDofLIFE, by Jim Smith, PCC, The Executive Happiness Coach®. For more tips on Leading with Happiness, visit www.TheExecutiveHappinessCoach.com."

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