Trust is the emotion that supports us to coordinate action with another person. Trust is often invisible when we work easily with others; but when betrayed, it's like a broken bone – it must heal to support us again.
With attention to these four pillars**, you can repair Trust.
- Sincerity: Do you know someone who continually tells you they will do something, but you consider their promises empty? Sincerity is when you mean what you say.
- Reliability: You know
that coworker who can't seem to meet a deadline? They are sincere and do great work, but you can't count on them. To repair trust you must deliver, every time.
- Competency: Can that friend actually DO what they promise? Note: Competency is situational. Don't expect people to be good at what they are not. Example: my wife trusts my cooking, but she did not trust me to do her brain
surgery!
- Care: Do you believe that person shares your passion for something important to you? Or do they care about you as a person? You'll find it easier to trust when there is a shared heart space.
No one is perfect. You can be sincere, competent, deliver well, and care
deeply, yet still you're gonna mess up and disappoint people.
Remember that an essential tool to repair trust is the companion emotion of forgiveness. Forgiveness means that I won't necessarily forget, but I won't use it against you in the future.
When you or those
around you mess up, use this checklist to see where trust broke down. Then use Conversation to take care of the relationship and rebuild Trust.
