Remember, Leadership is not about a title; anyone can be a Leader who creates a positive experience for others.

I typically end my essays with a tip like above, but today let’s start with a reminder that leaders are people who make a difference for others, usually through how they engage–what we call “presence.” 

PRESENCE is a common yearning among prospects for coaching.  Leadership presence, executive presence, presence on stage, or personal presence.  They seek to show up differently with their teams, their boards, their peers, or their professional communities. 

So why don’t they already have “it,” whatever it is?

1. It’s important but not always valued.  People in management or leadership roles are often not evaluated by the way they develop other leaders or by the impact they’re having on others by their personal presence. This kind of evaluation takes a back seat “to getting the numbers.” Intellectually, everyone agrees that understanding and valuing people skills makes a huge difference to generating the "numbers" more effectively, but still…
2. Short term behavior earns more applause than long term investment.  We are shallow and fickle, we humans. We like loud shiny things (Social media! Disaster! Scandal! Breaking news!) despite decades of research that prove over and again that the quiet, unassuming, and often non-charismatic leaders are the ones whose organizations will generate the greatest return. But we run to the burning fire of downsizing or reorganizing and ignore the more powerful relationship-building that does not show up on the next quarter’s forecast.
3. They are smart in the head, yet have never in their life had a class on Listening, Caring, Confidence-building, or the use of Conversation as a tool for development.

You are the glue that holds people to this organization. How you show up affects their connection with the team, and with you as their manager/leader/boss. No glue, no stickiness, and in an era of phenomenally low unemployment, you need to retain all the talent you can. 

How CAN you improve your presence?

Here are a few ideas:

1. Each time you interact with someone you are potentially strengthening or weakening your relationship with them. Positive/constructive interactions weave more fibers into their connection with you, leading to significant differences in team outcomes.
2. Think of yourself as a “brand.” Your personal presence is how others experience you.
   • You’re doing a presentation: what is the experience you want others to have, of you and of the material? How do you create that experience? How do you signal confidence in a tough message or openness to questions, for example?
   • While sending or responding to email: how do you open and close those communications? Have you thought about whether this communication should be done in person or over the phone instead? Is the use of email supporting or getting in the way of your presence?
   • When giving “hard to hear” feedback to a co-worker: What is the experience you would like this person to have during this conversation? What can you do to support that outcome? What is the emotional space you want to hold, e.g. care and compassion?
   • You’re in a meeting: what role do you want to play? What is the emotional space you bring, e.g. are you upbeat or a heavy presence?

Personal presence is not only about raising your awareness of how others experience you but becoming more intentional about cultivating your human “being-ness.” How you walk, talk, sit, stand, and breathe are important. People are noticing you and being affected by you, well beyond the words you speak.

And that’s assuming you DO speak; for some, the biggest obstacle to presence is that they are too often “invisible.” Where is the balance for you between sharing your thinking and holding the space for others?

Presence is a skill you can build. Over time you will become more effective because you can take control of the qualities you want to cultivate in yourself and change the behaviors you judge are getting in your way.

What kind of experience would you like others to have of you? What qualities do you need to cultivate within yourself to achieve this? (e.g. patience, assertiveness, decisiveness, speaking up, holding space for others, being more concise, managing your temper, being more caring, being more present, etc.) 

Where would you like to start? And when will you begin?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

II.  A Year of No

I recently re-connected with the teaching of Mary Kay Ash, whom I followed when I worked in Sales many years ago.  Yes, THAT Mary Kay, of the cosmetics home parties and Pink Cadillacs. One of her data points was that only one out of every ten women would buy Mary Kay Products, so she taught her salespeople to Celebrate NO for every No meant they were closer to the next Yes.

Like many humans, I resist hearing No; it makes me uncomfortable and anxious. Rereading Ash’s work reminded me, however, that if I want to get more Yeses in my life, I have to wade thru the Nos.

When my Mastermind Group met for our annual business planning session, I declared an intention to Triple My Nos.  Which means I have to ASK more often, right? 

So here goes:

> OFFER #1: UNLIMITED COACHING (aka Laser Coaching)

Last year this was an experiment. Now it’s an offer.

Have you ever wanted to sample coaching? Or have you worked with a coach previously and yearn to reconnect with the process but without making a huge commitment of time and money?

Unlimited Coaching is this:

• You complete a self-assessment and goal-setting package
• We meet for a one-hour intake session in which we get crystal clear on your coaching goal(s).
• You schedule regular (voice/video only) sessions with your coach**
• You have unlimited access to me as your coach until 30 -December 2020 (email, text, WhatsApp).
• All meetings are just 15-minute long, Laser sessions (private calendar link). 

Get in. Get out. Get outcomes.

Might you be a candidate? Yes, if you:

• Seek to hyper-focus on one important goal and go really deep & really fast for the rest of the year.
• Want to build solid “muscle strength” in a new skill, awareness, or behavior, constantly building on drills & practice to embed it in your way of being.
• Seek a relentless accountability framework for a project or a shift. 

Fee for the program: $2,500 USD.  We begin in February. Payment plans available.

From last year’s clients:

“I’m glad I took advantage of Jim’s Unlimited Coaching plan.  I came to this coaching experience wanting accountability around maintaining life balance.  I accomplished that AND received coaching support with moving some key projects forward. The weekly sessions served as great progress check-ins for me and when I found myself stuck, Jim always seemed to have the right question or exercise to help me transition into forward movement again. Thanks Jim!” ~~A. Sharb, Entrepreneur

"Powerful cut-to-the-chase conversations are rare--except when you're being coached by Jim Smith! For me those 15-minute discussions became my weekly mindset "check-ins," nudging me down the road of greater success (and happiness) far faster than I would have traveled alone. It was the best investment I've ever made in my business and in myself." -- Andrea Dale, Executive + Marketing Coach

If you want to dance in this space with me, raise your hand!

> OFFER #2: COACHING For Executive Presence

This is a reminder that I work with smart, successful people like you, who secretly struggle with overwhelm and fear that you won’t have what it takes to succeed at the next level. I help you expand awareness of your strengths and limits, explore new paths to effectiveness, then support you as you build powerful new behaviors that transform how you “show up” in your life and work.  Applying principles from ontology and neuroscience, I help you shift in all domains – intellectual, emotional, and physical.

Here’s what past clients have said about the value of coaching with me:

• “The cumulative effect of investing time with you in the coaching process is a substantially increased bandwidth for leading in the face of uncertainty, navigating highly complex situations that frequently arise in our globally connected world.”
   ~Jeff W, senior partner
• “I wish I was offered your coaching early in my career – I now know what I have missed! Financially you are worth 50% of my yearly salary - I need the rest to pay bills ;-)”
  ~Dan T, project manager
• “Jim is a great listener, encourager, challenger. His services are worth every penny and then some! His coaching has had a lasting impact on my life both professionally and personally.  I HIGHLY recommend Jim”  ~Kay P, marketing director

I have helped thousands of leaders and business owners just like you to increase effectiveness at work AND live a happier, more balanced life.  I invite you to contact me for a free Leadership Strategy Session, or connect me to someone in your organization who is ready to accelerate their growth!

Feel free to say NO – it will get me closer to the next YES!